Destination: Entertainment by Mike Ryan (Dr. Frankenstand)
Working with DMCs; are you ready for the cream of the corporate gig crop? When corporate groups, especially the larger ones, bring hundreds and even thousands of their employees to a city for a convention, they often need “local help” with transportation and coordination of a variety of special events. This service is often provided by a Destination Management Company or DMC for short. Conventioneers also like to party and DMCs have entertainment connections too. That’s where DJs comes in. During the holiday season, when DJs are busy, DMCs are dormant. However, when the holiday season drops off, the DMCs are busy again with conventions, and that translates into more parties and potential business for DJs who are connected with this kind of organization!
The Big Leagues: Making the Team
Imagine you’re a meeting planner and you are responsible for organizing your company’s upcoming convention. You’ve got plenty to do and the last things you want to worry about are the ins and outs of an unfamiliar city that you’re only going to be in for a short while. If you’re a seasoned planner, you’ve already hooked up with a local DMC who has all of the contacts you need-including entertainment!
There are challenges for DJs who find themselves working for a DMC, however. The biggest one is just getting a DMC to hire you in the first place. This is truly the big leagues for DJs; the whole attitude changes at this level. PRA Inc., with 19 franchised offices across the America, is one of the biggest DMCs in the country. Dante Mancinelli of PRA’s home office in San Diego says there’s a big difference between regular parties and DJing for a DMC: “Weddings and birthdays tend to be more formula driven. A corporate DJ needs to know what the team is trying to accomplish. The DJ must understand the importance of the partnership we are trying to build. DJs also need to be familiar with the different players that might be on site: Incentive Houses, Production Companies, Entertainment agencies, Travel staff, the end client and the venue contacts.” And, in this setting, he stresses, “Under no circumstances should a DJ ever hand out business cards.”
Where do DJs fit into the entertainment needs at the corporate level? Mancinelli says, “Depending on the program and budget, there are times where a DJ is used as part of a larger party or in between big acts. The DJ can also be the main entertainment! Ideally, the DJ should be able to adjust as needed. Play lists are always helpful, and if a song is ever requested ahead of time, make sure you have it!”
DMCs can afford high quality DJs. So says Roger Devenyns, a sales manager with Star Destination at Starwood properties (Sheraton, “W”): “A DMC brings a higher end client to the table. In general, because DMCs cost money to use, their clients are prepared to spend more money.”
“But with more money comes more expectations,” he adds. “DMCs look for DJs who are professional at all times. Some DMC programs may involve awards or ceremonies requiring the use of the DJ sound system or require the DJ to act as the MC.” Devenyns continues with some important recommendations: “When in doubt, overdress and be overly nice. A DMC’s biggest concern when hiring a DJ is uncertainty. Does the DJ understand the market? DJs need to remember that the event is not a networking opportunity, they (DJs) are there as agents of the DMC and everything they do is a reflection upon the DMC. They cannot drink alcohol, eat the client’s food, give out phone numbers or hand out cards (are you seeing the trend here?).”
Get with the Program; Roll with the Punches
A typical chain of command for an incoming corporate group starts with the corporate meeting planner who contacts the DMC. The DMC then contacts a Talent Agency, which then contacts the entertainment, for example, a DJ. Devenyns says by the time the talent (DJ) gets the contract it becomes a matter of expediency: “Having a discussion about (any) decisions on the day of the event, or on-site, is the VERY LAST thing a Sales/Ops Manager wants to deal with on site. If the DJ is booked through an agency, any and all instructions should have already taken place. The agent should pass that information on to the DJ as thoroughly as possible. That is why the agent is being used to book talent. On-site really becomes: “just do it.”
Last minute changes do happen, however. Devenyns explains: “Sometimes the client decides they need a DJ as a last minute addition. Occasionally everything is arranged through a third party and the DMC contact is meeting the client for the first time at the event. In this case the DMC may simply be unprepared. But that is why they hired you, the DJ, to be professional and to provide good quality service in spite of having minimal information up-front. The DJ who can handle last minutes changes will be the one who get called for more business!”
As you can see, a DMC plays an important role in the convention industry, helping coordinate hospitality and entertainment for the huge conference industry. And because conventioneers like to party, DJs should be very hospitable to DMCs.
Mike Ryan started out writing for news radio, and has DJ’d on KGB and KSDS. He mobiles as Mike on the Mike, and also works part-time as a DMC tour guide. Mike is the inventor/owner of Frankenstand Powered Speaker Stands. He has been the president of the San Diego Professional Tour Guide Association, a board member of his local NACE chapter, and is a member of the San Diego Chapter of the ADJA.
For an extended version of this article get MOBILE BEAT #112, JANUARY 2008.
Written by Staff Member. Everything Else, Issue #112
The Kids Are Alright by Mike Ryan (Dr. Frankenstand)
Expert advice for making youth entertainment seem like child’s play. If you’ve seen the movie "Son In Law", starring Pauly Shore, you probably remember the roly-poly, freckle-faced little brother Zack, played by Patrick Renna. I did a wedding recently where the bride’s son was a spitting image of Zack. Towards the end of the reception the Zack-a-like started watching me work. I’m a sucker for any kid who takes an interest in DJing, so I invited him to help me with some of the announcements. I was surprised to discover he was great on the mic! I took out one of my business cards and wrote on the back: “(his name) has fulfilled the requirements to become a Junior DJ. Then I signed it. Some kids might have thought that was a silly thing, but not him. His face lit up and off he went to show the card to his mother (the bride) who caught my attention and mouthed “Thank you”! The point of this story is that sometimes kids at parties can be a pain, but other times they can be a great opportunity to endear yourself to your client. Certainly that little boy will remember the time he became a “Junior DJ.” Maybe he’ll grow up to be a full-fledged DJ.
Controlled Chaos
Children present a unique element at any event in which they are involved. The following are some expert views from two DJs who specialize in children’s events: Joe Kahwaty of DJ Entertainers, Freehold, New Jersey and Eric Sands of Sundance Productions in San Diego, California, Bar and Bat Mitzvah specialists.
Kawaty says because children have short attention spans, “you must keep activities as upbeat as possible.” He agrees with the idea of letting certain kids on the mic: “…you might invite the children to be a guest DJ…the children love it, [and it] makes great photo opportunities and lasting memories for your clients, their family and friends.” Sands says, “It’s all about control. If you give kids the opportunity to create chaos, they will. However, if you keep them continuously surprised and challenged, they will respect you for it, and respond to your show…They only act crazy because they need attention. You can give them the attention that they are demanding without being negative.”
However, some DJs feel they have to be the star of the show with kids present; we’ve all seen it-they can and often do steal the limelight. Kahwaty says: “In many cases children are the life of the party but sometimes they need to be invited to participate in activities or dances. It has been my experience that If you ask them they will listen. Often the other guests will help you get the children involved.”
Tips and Tricks for Kids
KEEP ‘EM BUSY. Kahwaty says “you need to keep the activities going around all the other things happening at your parties. When you are done with activities try group dances. Some adults will actually enjoy doing the same activities provide to the children.” Sands suggests giving “kids a role, maybe make them judges for an activity.”
PROP ‘EM UP. Kahwaty uses “hula hoops, limbo stick and sometimes Buddy Walkers® for out door parties. Sands is really into props: “Yes-plenty of props. Those illuminated squeezy balls are very popular right now. Also, glow-in-the-dark items will always win their favor (no pun intended). Air instruments are always fun, and using props for contests makes a great impact (example: jumbo inflatable microphones, sunglasses, and various wigs for lip sync contests).”
HOW LONG? HOW MANY? What’s the ideal timeframe for kid’s parties and how many is too many kids? Kahwaty has a “three hour minimum with no max.” He charges an additional fee for over 25 children. Sands says four hours is “maxed out” and at his Bar/Bat Mitzvahs the number of kids ranges from 30 to 80.
HELPERS AND/OR DANCERS. Kahwaty doesn’t use dancers but does require additional assistance for each group of 25 children.” Sands likes a helping hands: “Absolutely! Although you can call them dancers, or pumpers, or motivators…you need to have staff there to help execute your commands. One dancer for every 30 to 40 guests (kids and adults) is my rule of thumb.”
ARE DJS GLORIFIED BABYSITTERS? Kahwaty says, “If the shoe fits wear it. I’m not ashamed to say I am a glorified baby sitter. Money talks!” Regarding parents he recommends: they “should know beforehand what they are getting into. Explain some of the activities you plan to do at their event. You will not have any problems unless you don’t have the command of the activities you are planning to perform. If customers have any unreasonable demands, there are plenty of DJs they can call.” Sands feel “parents don’t really care how you get the job done. As long as you keep them occupied and entertained at the opportune times during the party.”
WHEN GOOD KIDS GO BAD. Have you had to deal with out of control kids? Sands relates one incident: “In the early ‘90s, we got a bit rough with one kid who was trying to steal our CDs. Parents got mad and threatened to hire an attorney in response to our mishandling of this kid. We were forced to write a letter of apology to the family.” “There will always be troublemakers,” he adds. “Don’t alienate them…but embrace them into the party.
KID PARTIES ARE WORTH MORE. Exclusively child-attended parties require a lot more effort on the part of an entertainer. Are they worth charging more? Kahwaty says absolutely and recommends adding “a prize package (with) fun inflatables, leis, hats, sunglasses, etc. The prize packages you sell will generate much more business for you; you can take that to the bank.” Sands agrees, he charges “almost twice as much for Bar/Bat Mitzvah parties than for all other parties.” He feels that “to the hosts of the party, it’s worth every penny.”
Mike Ryan started out writing for news radio. He also DJ’d on KGB and KSDS. He mobiles as Mike on the Mike and is also the inventor owner of Frankenstand Powered Speaker Stands! Mike also works part time as a DMC tour guide. He has been the President of the San Diego Professional Tour Guide Association, a board member of his local NACE chapter and is currently the secretary of the San Diego Chapter of the ADJA.
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Speaking of Junior DJs…
While researching this I came across an interesting school program in England called “Make Me a DJ!” Directed towards 12 to 14-year-old students, this interesting approach to education is being sponsored by Pioneer, with the expected assistance of UK “Garage Guru” DJ Spoony, winner of Britain’s prestigious “MOBO” award for the Best DJ 2001. Pioneer, the company of “sound, vision and soul” is touting “Make Me a DJ” as “the training of a new generation of world class DJs!” According to PR spokesperson Philippa Streets, “This unique program was launched last April (2007) in the UK and the response has been amazing! The kids love the alternative way to express themselves in music lessons through an ‘instrument’ they can actually relate to!” Students get to practice DJing on PCs with Pioneer’s DJS software and get to compete in Mix-Offs for DJ related prizes.
I remember my first Junior DJ classroom. It was in my Uncle’s living room on his “state of the art” stereo equipment, using 45 RPM records with those little plastic spindle inserts. Upon reflection, it must have been the fact that my relative was into “high tech” audio that pushed me over the edge-he also had a microphone! And you know I still feel like a kid every time I use one. - M.R.
Written by Staff Member. Filed Under Issue #109, Music, Performing
Team Player:
Working with Other Wedding Vendors by Mike Ryan (Dr. Frankenstand)
You can only win the reception game as a member of the team
When I was asked to write about my experiences working with wedding vendors, a couple of words immediately sprung to mind: respect and teamwork.
My perspective goes beyond a simple “us and them” relationship: I’ve walked a while in their shoes. During a short stint with a theme party production house I must have put on hundreds of tablecloths, chair covers, chair cover sashes and an equal number of centerpieces; in case you had any doubt, it is definitely laborious and boring. In the Navy I had my share of galley (kitchen) duty-swabbing decks, cleaning tables, washing pots, pans and dishes-not fun. During college I took a photography class. I hated the developing chemicals and squinting into a camera gave me a reverse sense of claustrophobia. No doubt, you’ve had some similar experiences along the way. Welcome to the wedding vendor’s world.
Reception Team Roster
I firmly believe that good DJ karma starts from the bottom up. Many times after I’ve packed up my equipment and I’m ready to leave I’ve noticed the catering staff still toiling away, cleaning up the mess left behind. I always clean up my area, whether it’s leftover gaffers tape, soda cans or just removing the tablecloth and those little plastic thingies that hold it on. Someone had to set up the table and tablecloth for me-why not return the favor? More often than not, I’ll ask the catering staff if I can help them finish up. They always say “no thanks” but I know they appreciate the offer. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, they’ll tell their boss and more work may come my way. But like in the movie Pay It Forward, I don’t count on it. It’s a team effort and the event isn’t really over until the venue is locked up.
This example equally applied to all wedding vendors in some way. You can team up with the photographer by keeping him/her informed of different activities coming up that need to be photographed. Then, when you ask for a picture of your full dance floor he or she may be more amenable to sending you a copy.
How important is teamwork and respect to caterers? A past article on working with caterers quotes kitchen pros as stating: “The DJ is key to a smooth running event,” and “It’s critical for everyone, including the DJ, to be on the same page” and “The relationship with a mobile DJ is based on trust, consistency and fulfilled expectations.” If the catering staff gets slammed I try to help them out. It blows away guests when they see me, the DJ, helping the catering staff clear away plates. Again, it’s about team work.
Teamwork is paramount in the hotel industry. The hotel’s catering managers and coordinators have the heavy responsibility of putting together teams of experts, including DJs, for most if not all of the non-corporate parties. One catering manager says, “Any DJ I hire must be a team player and they need to remember that all aspects of an event are important!”
A sense of camaraderie is also important. With so many Spanish-speaking employees in the hotel industry here in my Southern California stomping grounds, I like to play Latin music for them while I’m setting up before an event. Talent agents also weighed in on teamwork: “If you want to approach a talent agent, let them know that you are willing to become part of the sales process, thus becoming part of their ‘team!’ And the team is there for one reason only: to give the end client the best event possible so they will come back time after time and recommend us to others.” All the talent agents I interviewed for a previous article agreed: “If you work with a TA you should be ethical, loyal to your agent, and you should remember that you are part of a team whose job it is to make the client’s dreams come true.”
Other wedding team members who need to be mentioned include wedding planners and ceremony officiants (ministers, rabbis, etc.). My experience working with officiants has been an easy and mostly enjoyable one, except for the occasional one who shows up late. Wedding planners, on the other hand, can be more of a challenge to work with. A new trend in the wedding planning world is the “Day Of” wedding planner.” These planners are the “iPod weddings” of the wedding planning profession and are a real thorn is the side of traditional WPs. The first “Day Of” planner I worked with gave me her convoluted reception schedule at the very last minute before the Grand Entrance. She had the couple’s last name wrong; I announced them as it was written and ended up looking like the fool.
Most mobile DJs appreciate how difficult a job a traditional wedding planner has. I hear horror stories from my WP friends about their dealings with brides-to-be. They have a lot more patience than I will ever have. I always defer to them because of the nature of their business; they can spend hundreds of hours with the couples in the planning stages of a wedding. Of course, some WPs think they are the absolute rulers of reception schedules. Personally, I would like to see wedding planners just deal with everything up to the ceremony and leave the reception planning and coordination to the professional entertainers-the DJs. With that said, most WPs appreciate what mobile DJs bring to the wedding team.
When you’ve graduated to the professional level (which you probably have, if you’re reading Mobile Beat) you’ll find that you’re working with many other team members of equal status. They know they are professionals and act accordingly-and you should too.
Join the Club
Surprisingly, the best teams I’ve experienced are my two local DJ associations. I have been truly impressed and am proud to report that all members share extra work, ideas, music and even equipment with each other. When one of our association members had all his equipment stolen everyone pitched in to help him. I gladly gave him two spare speaker stands.
One little concluding postscript: Some people disagree with me when I say that, even though DJs are entertainers, I think we’re more aligned with the hospitality industry. I get far more work through caterers, meeting planners, destination management companies, photographers and wedding planners (ie., the hospitality industry) then I ever do from members of the entertainment industry! And from my experience the hospitality industry is a very tight club. Once you’re in it, respect the team and you’ll have plenty of work. Respect and teamwork is what being a professional wedding reception vendor is all about.
Mike Ryan started writing for news radio. He also DJ’d on KGB and KSDS. He mobiles as Mike on the Mike and is also the inventor/owner of Frankenstand Powered Speaker Stands! Mike also works part time as a DMC tour guide. He has been the President of the San Diego Professional Tour Guide Association, a board member of his local NACE chapter and is currently the secretary of the San Diego Chapter of the ADJA. DJs need to remember that all aspects of an event are important.
Written by Staff Member · Filed Under Business, Issue #108
DJ Ahoy! by Mike Ryan (Dr. Frankenstand)
Gigs on party boats and other seafaring venues test your preparation skills.
After lugging all my DJ equipment, one piece at a time, down a narrow dock ramp, up an equally narrow winding staircase to the boat’s second deck, with sweat dripping from my forehead, I mentioned to one of the ship’s crew: “I sure wish there was an elevator on this boat!” She answered, “Oh, there’s one right over there,” pointing to a small door in the corner of the room. Thank you very much!
The Unique Challenge of DJing on a Boat
DJing on party boats is exciting and I always look forward to working on them. Party boats are usually very elegant and because most of the events are at night, it often becomes a romantic cruise on the water. And yet because of limited space of boats they’re one of the most demanding gigs you’ll ever experience.
Blondie sang “The tide is high”-well, during one of my recent load-ins it wasn’t, making the ramp from the pier to the dock very steep. I always worry about my equipment rolling away from me and into the water, knock on teak. After safely getting my gear on board I heard a loud crash and the sound of shattering dishes. One of the catering staff was wheeling a “Queen Mary,” a tall metal food container, down the same ramp and it did get away from him, crashing onto the dock next to the ship with the evening’s dinner turning into seagull soufflé.
Speaking of food, often, but not always, you will get to eat; most crews are pretty good at taking care of you. Where can you go if you’re hungry? Remember, you’re on the water.
When it comes to the actual performance, once you’ve navigated all the logistical obstacles, DJing on the water still requires the high level of performance any client, private or corporate, might expect. One of the premier party boat companies in California, Hornblower Cruises and Events, operates 30 yachts, including the massive Inspiration (see picture), services six ports and is a “$30 million dollar business.” Hilary Rossi, Hornblower’s Assistant Director of Food and Beverage in San Diego is very serious about entertainers she hires to work their on their boats: “If a DJ thinks it’s okay to plug in an iPod® and just stand there, they are very wrong. It is about being a people person, and playing what people want.”
Water Hazards
The following are a variety of tips for a better musical boating experience…
Steve Cosio of I Buy Time, a radio ad buyer in Dallas, Texas (and former mobile DJ) recommends lightening you load: “Travel light…as light as possible….I had only one sound system and it was heavy. The manager of the boat almost didn’t let me onboard because the sound system was on casters. I convinced her that the casters were riveted on and there was no way to take them off. Once on board, I surrounded the wheels with gear so the unit wouldn’t roll.”
This comment reminds me that it’s a good idea to secure all of your equipment if there is even a slight chance of the gear rolling or tipping over. Remember, boats move. You’d hate to hear someone yell “Speaker overboard!” wouldn’t you? I’ve found, because of the tight dance areas, that using just one 8″ speaker and a 12″ or 15″ speaker with the treble turn all the way down acting like a sub works great.
Cosio has another great no-brainer piece of advice: “If you are prone to seasickness, it wouldn’t hurt to carry a seasickness patch in your gear and use it BEFORE you leave the dock!”
Don’t expect a six foot table to put your equipment on. Do expect to be put in a small corner with little room to move. Also, expect the ceilings to be extremely low, so watch out for feedback.
Warning: I promise you, your client probably won’t tell you in advance (make sure you ask) that he or she will want a microphone on the deck you’re not on! And forget about using your wireless on another deck (I’ve tried it). It’ll work just enough to cut out here and there, upsetting the client and making you look like an idiot. I always bring an extra powered speaker and wired mike for just such an occasion. Gene Barbic, co-owner of Warehouse Sound and Light in Miramar, California suspects that my wireless is having problems with all of the ship’s metal. Barbic says there are devices to help you DJ on a boat including a direct box, ground lift, remote and powered antennas etc.
When you have the boat rocking and your CD starts skipping (assuming you’re still using CDs) chances are the deck (floor) is bouncing and not your disks. I actually threw several perfectly good CDs overboard in dramatic fashion in front of the guests because I thought they were bad. (I now have a new appreciation for going computer.) Don’t forget to bring extra-long RCA cables in case you’re asked to patch into the ship’s sound system. Rossi adds: “Boat wiring is tricky sometimes and extra care should always be put to checking a system ahead of time.” In other words, make sure you find and paste to your memory all of the ship’s sound system’s volume controls. The last thing you want to do is navigate around all the guests and ship’s crew as you try to turn down the ship’s piped in music.
Often times, the boats are “home ported” at different locations other than where they pick you and the guests up, so at the end of your cruise be prepared to get all of your equipment off as fast as you can - the ship’s crew will appreciate it. Also, if the boat is returning to a docking area with “live-aboards” (people who live on their boats) near by be prepared to shut down the music as soon as you reach the dock.
Shipshape
Q: What’s the difference between a boat and a ship?
A: You can put a boat on a ship!
If you live in a big city like San Diego, you may also have historic ships to party on. One of our ships, the retired air craft carrier USS Midway, is a blast to work on; plenty of space-it’s a big, really big ship! They usually put DJs inside the hanger bay, a massive area with a very high ceiling. Party lights look great and really fill the space.
However, as with all water craft, it too has its challenges, worst of all being the way the pier crew load equipment. Apparently someone figured using a fork lift would suffice to hoist my precious DJ equipment up several stories from the pier, over the water, and onto the main hanger bay. Once I actually rode with my equipment in a little cage attached to one of the fork lifts, teetering high in the air…scared me to death!
Bottom line, DJing on boats, big or small, poses some very unique problems to solve, but if you prepare in advance, these parties can be some of the most fun you’ll ever experience.
Mike Ryan started writing for news radio. He also DJ’d on KGB and KSDS. He mobiles as Mike on the Mike and is also the inventor owner of Frankenstand Powered Speaker Stands. Mike also works part time as a DMC tour guide. He has been the President of the San Diego Professional Tour Guide Association, a board member of his local NACE chapter and is currently the secretary of the San Diego Chapter of the ADJA.
Sea Songs
THE TIDE IS HIGH BLONDIE
SEA OF LOVE HONEYDRIPPERS
UNDER THE SEA LITTLE MERMAID SOUNDTRACK
DON’T ROCK THE BOAT HUGHES CORP.
SAILING CHRIS CROSS OR BACKSTREET BOYS
IF I HAD A BOAT LYLE LOVETT OR DAVE MATTHEWS
ALMOST ANYTHING BY THE BEACH BOYS
ALMOST ANYTHING FROM JIMMY BUFFET
YO HO HO, A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME DISNEY THEME PARK SONG
(Always gets a chuckle)
GILLIGAN’S ISLAND THEME
(Another chuckle, although a little nervous-sounding)
Nautical Terms You Should Know
Port = left
Starboard = right
Deck = floor
Overhead = ceiling
Bulkhead = wall
Forward = the front of the ship,
Aft = the rear of the ship
Head = bathroom (very important to locate ASAP)
Captain = the guy in charge of everything…and I mean everything!
Written by Staff Member · Filed Under Everything Else, Issue #107
Get With The Program:
Perspectives on Reception Scheduling by Mike Ryan (Dr. Frankenstand)
The who, what, why and when of reception timing-guaranteed to surprise you I recently had an incident with a venue staff over whose reception schedule took priority, his or mine. The “captain” said he had a signed contract, I told him I did too. I asked him who made their schedule, he answered the banquet manager! And where was the banquet manager? The captain responded: “Oh, the banquet manager never goes to the weddings.”
I wondered: who really has the ultimate responsibility for making a wedding reception schedule? It was off to a book store to do some research. I found lots of books on weddings, including ones with funny titles like: Chicken Soup for the Bride’s Soul, The Anti-Bride wedding planner and of course Wedding Planning for Dummies, but not one of them had any substantive information about reception scheduling.
Survey Says…
After interviewing dozens of mobile DJs, wedding planners, caterers and venue managers, it became obvious to me that all of us are not on the same page! In general, DJs were in agreement on scheduling, while the rest of the wedding professionals had a variety of views. For instance:
Responsible Parties. Who should be responsible for setting the schedule? DJs were evenly split between the wedding planner (if there is one) and the DJ. Not surprisingly, non-DJ vendors overwhelmingly choose the wedding planner. The banquet manager rated a distant third.
Spaced Out. On the question of whether or not to space out the activities during the reception, a majority of DJs preferred to space the activities throughout the event. Reasons given include: “It provides entertainment throughout the evening; it gives the guests something to look forward too; it offers emotional peaks and valleys; each activity has entertainment value and keeps guests longer.” On the other hand, and this is a major disagreement, most vendors preferred doing activities one right after another. Reasons given: “It is most efficient; spacing activities out seems to drag on…guests get bored.” And several said, “Get on with the dancing!”
First Things First. When to do the First Dance? Nearly everyone was in agreement: right after the Grand Entrance. Reasons given: “Start things off with a bang; you have everyone’s complete attention; it’s the WOW factor!”
Parental Guidance. When asked what the best time was to do the Parent’s Dance, most DJs said right after the First Dance. Other wedding vendors were split between after the first dance and after dinner.
Don’t Burn the Toast. No matter how you slice it, everyone was in agreement: limit the Toast. Answers given: “Alcohol and microphones don’t mix; avoid inappropriate or rambling toasts; with an open mic, things can and very often do get ugly; don’t give guests an opportunity to ruin the reception; once guests start drinking, it’s hard to regain control.”
Toasty Timing. When’s the best time to do the Toast? DJs were evenly split between doing it before or after the meal. Answers given: “Before dinner to avoid wait staff bussing tables; after dinner to let the guests settle down; when the meal has started, guests can eat during the Toasts.” Vendor’s answers were spread all over without any general agreement: “During the Grand Entrance; during dinner; after First Dance; after the salads are served; just before or after the Cake is cut.”
Toss Up. Almost everyone sided with tradition, doing the Garter Removal and Toss before the Bouquet Toss. However, several vendors said they do the Garter first with the Bouquet Toss at the end of the event as the couple leave. Even Martha Stewart agrees: “The Bouquet Toss should take place thirty minutes before the end of the reception” (from Martha Stewart’s Keepsake Wedding Planner).
Cut to the Chase. When to cut the cake? Keeping in mind there is a general consensus that many guests tend to leave right after the Cake Cutting, most DJs said to do it as late as possible. Vendors were more focused on exact timing, cutting the cake from 45 minutes to an hour and a half after the meal.
Post-Cake Escape. What that about guests leaving after the cake is cut? All DJs said “yes,” this happens, with percentages ranging from 10 to 40 percent. Three vendors said they never experience this, while the rest acknowledged the problem, with percentages ranging from 25 to 50 percent of guests leaving! A good summary comment: “The people who leave after the cake are the guests that attended out of obligation, not necessarily desire, and the cake is usually the last traditional formality.”
Dancing for Money. The Money Dance, or the Honeymoon Dance, as it is sometimes called, is probably the most controversial reception activity of all. What percentage of clients ask for it, and when is the best time to do it? The percentages ran the spectrum from 5 to 90 percent! And everyone agreed that it’s cultural thing, especially common in the Latin and Asian populations. The answers as to when to include the dance were just as varied: “Before the cake; after the cake; after the Bouquet and Garter; after the Parent’s Dance.” Anthony Milkey, certified Wedding Event Planner at the Famous La Costa Golf Course and Resort in southern California related an interesting take on the Money Dance: “…from the four corners of the dance floor guests threw bundles of brand new $100 dollar bills, showering [them] down on the bride and groom as they danced!” Talk about confetti!
Marital Calculations. Regarding the Anniversary Dance, which I call the Longest Married Couple Elimination Dance most of the vendors had no comment, while DJs familiar with activity offered some neat tips: “We do the dance after the cake as a way to get people back on to the dance floor; we give the longest married couple a cool gift and I don’t eliminate; I have them join the others on the dance floor for continued dancing.” And as to the best time to schedule the Anniversary Dance? Answers varied: “After the toasts; before the cake; after the cake and after the bouquet.”
For Your Viewing Pleasure. Video presentations are popular; everyone said they run them during the meal.
Trading Spaces
In the final analysis, it appears the biggest difference between the DJ and other wedding vendors is whether or not to do all of the activities one right after another, with DJs preferring to space them out while other vendors prefer them in close sequence. As to who has the ultimate responsibility for making the schedule, there is general agreement that if there is a wedding planner, that person should take the lead; otherwise it should be the responsibility of the DJ. Everyone prefers to limit the toasts. With the Bouquet and Garter it is worth repeating that several non-DJ vendors prefer delaying the Bouquet Toss until the very end of the reception as a signal the party is over. Not surprisingly, almost everyone was in agreement that some guests tend to leave after the cake is cut. Opinions on the Honeymoon Dance ran the full spectrum from some vendors never doing it, to others almost always including it.
The last question I asked was for any additional advice on scheduling. Answers included: “Really listen to your couple-they will make your job easier; after consulting with the bride and groom, check with other wedding vendors to make sure everyone is on the same page; always provide copies of the schedule for the other vendors involved; don’t over-program the event; everyone should have a list of contact numbers and names; I really appreciate it when a good DJ and Photographer run the show.” And my favorite piece of advice: “Just because it’s a tradition doesn’t mean it always works.”
One final thought, as one who has helped numerous brides and grooms plan their reception schedule. I agree with James Baker, former U.S. Secretary of State, who said, “Never let the other guy set the agenda.”
